Here's what happens:
Vinny and I are trotting or cantering actively towards a small jump. Vinny starts to slow down and I can feel him already refusing. I can then use spur or crop to urge him over the fence. If he flat out WILL NOT go over, I circle tightly around and make him walk over it.
Not a huge deal right?
Try this scenario out:
Vinny and I are trotting or cantering towards a small jump. We get right to the spot where he should take off. He lifts off like he is going over, then suddenly plants himself and I either land on his neck or go sailing over his shoulder.
In my last lesson, he refused in this way four times. I landed on his neck all four times and ended up having to dismount off of his neck once. In the end, I cried and refused to take him over another jump.
My trainer thinks that I do not close my leg enough and am not aggressive enough. I think I am.
After a while of this happening all the time, my mind can no longer handle it. I just don't know what to do. I want to jump so badly. But I'm scared now. I tried to share my feelings with trainer but I'm not sure he understands. He didn't offer much of a solution other than, 'next time I'll throw one of the kids on him first to get him going over everything and then you can get on.'
Yes Vin does this with the kids too but they don't seem to mind like I do.
That takes even more of a toll on my mind. It may seem childish of me or whatever but that makes me feel like crud. I want to fix it myself. I want to be capable. And if anyone's going to help me, I want a trainer who can actually get on him and feel what I'm feeling. Not a kid just because that kid is fearless. Does this make sense?
Anywho. I'm at my wits end with this horse. I can't afford any other arrangement. And I don't want to give up either. What do I do?!?!
Someone help. Please.
:(
